European Threat Levels raised

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Surrender” and “Collaborate.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert as Italy has increased her alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs come equipped with glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

(First heard on The Daily Source Code, googled back to politea)

While the americans are still smiling, some interesting posts on the same topic:

Bruce Schneier – Terrorist special olympics in the UK?


The Register – ‘al-Qaeda’ puts on big shoes, red nose, takes custard pie


The Daily Mash – AIRPORT ATTACKERS TO BE CHARGED UNDER ANTI-SMOKING LAWS

Wil Wheaton – please don’t be afraid

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